Forgotten flowers in a vase.

This is for all those forgetting how important you are.

Sitting on the mantle.
Beautiful.
Bringer of joy and hope.

Not realising your time is short and sweet.
Soon to be forgotten and replaced
Petals falling.
Compliments turn to poisonous water like a slice to your throat

Once much appreciated. Now an inconvenience.
Your memory came stained with lies, false promises, and insecurity.
The house is quiet. The vase is mouldy, and the water is drying up.

You weep.
You were important.
You weren’t as disposable as they think.
They throw you in the compost.
Not knowing that you will seed.
Creating a new beauty within.
You are a phoenix.
Full of fire.
Full of life.
You will stand up!

Someone will see you in a field of flowers,
In a sea of choices and pick you!
Pick you for you!
Love and adore you.
Cherish the moments you have.
Make them last as long as possible

You are the joy
You are truly indisposable.

VEGAN macaroni cheese bites

Hey everyone long time no write. I’m still alive and cooking lol. Here’s something I’ve been dreaming if making and today I did.
Vegan Macaroni cheese bites

  • 1.5 cups of macaroni
  • 2 tbsp of vegan butter
  • 1 tbsp of flour
  • 1 stock cube
  • 1 tbsp of Italian herbs
  • 1 tsp of garlic powder
  • 1 tsp of mustard
  • salt and pepper
  • 3/4 cup of soya milk
  • 3 slices of violife vegan cheese(any vegan cheese that you like)
  • 1 slice of toast ground up to breadcrumbs

1.Cook macaroni.

2. Add butter to pan. Melt. Stir in flour.

3. Cook for a minute. Stir in soya milk. Stir continuously til thickened. add mustard, stockcube, garlic, herbs, salt and pepper and violife slices. til sauce is a thick consistency.

4. Add macaroni to sauce.

5. Stir in bread crumbs.

6. In a pan add oil. bring to medium heat. scoop out the sizes of macaroni bites that you want.

now it’s important let it cook til its browned on the bottom. It’s super important as the only binding is bread crumbs.

Brown both sides. It takes 3-5 minutes roughly on each side.

Next time I’ll make a tomato sauce or relish of some type. It’s so good hope you guys and gals enjoy!

VEGAN caramel carrot cake

So I have been M.I.A lately I know. But I’m still here promise. Working on myself. But today I made the most AMAZING thing. Carrot cake with vegan caramel. It’s so good honestly. The candied walnuts are so good. This is my recipe completely.

Cake

    • 270 g carrots
    • 100 g of chopped walnuts
    • 75 g sultanas/raisins
    • 1 can of crushed pineapple drained
    • 420 g self-raising flour
    • 2 tsp baking powder
    • 240 g soft light brown sugar
    • 50 g of sugar
    • 1/2 tsp grated nutmeg
    • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
    • 1 tsp of vanilla
    • Zest and juice from one lemon
    • 1/2 tsp salt
    • 300 ml soya milk
    • 140 ml oil
  1. Combine all ingredients. It’s that simple
  2. I made this into 12 cupcakes and a loaf cake.
  3. Pour batter into pans. Bake at gas mark 4, 350 f or 177c for 20-25 minutes.(may need to adjust time)

Candied walnuts:

  • One cup of sugar
  • One tbsp of vegan butter
  • One cup of walnuts

1Melt butter and sugar. Add walnuts cook for a few minutes til sticky. Stir constantly. Do not burn. Place on parchment paper to cool separately.

Buttercream:

  • 500 grams of icing sugar(powdered sugar)
  • 75 grams of butter
  • Zest from one lemon
  • 3 tbsp of orange juice

Combine all ingredients. Mix til fluffy.

Caramel:

  • 2/3 cup of brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup of soya cream
  • 1 tsp of salt
  • 1 tsp of vanilla

Combine the first three ingredients. Cook on low 15-20 minutes or until thickened. Move away from heat add vanilla.

  1. Once cakes are cooled. Frost.
  2. Add walnuts
  3. Drizzle with caramel.
  4. Enjoy=p.

Chaos and casserole

My life has been so busy the last few months. I won’t lie in struggling at times. I made this casserole the other night not long after I arrived home with barely any food in my house from lack of time to shop. This picture is actually my third serving and I really have enjoyed it.

  • 1 butternut squash sliced thinly
  • 1 bag of frozen spinach defrosted
  • Vegan butter
  • 2 tbsp of flour
  • 2 cups of plant milk
  • 1 tsps of mustard
  • 1 tbsp of garlic powder
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 tbsp of soy sauce
  • 1/2 cup of nutritional yeast
  • 1/2 package of stuffing prepared for cooking
  • Smoked paprika
  • Oil
  1. Defrost spinach.
  2. Cook butter and flour together. Stir continuously. Adding milk slowly til sauce is thickened.
  3. Add garlic powder, mustard, soy sauce, salt and pepper.
  4. Taste and adjust to your own tastes.
  5. Stir in nutritional yeast and turn hear off.
  6. Stir spinach in and place in casserole pan.
  7. Layer the stuffing ontop of spinach.
  8. Top with sliced butternut squash.
  9. Brush with oil and sprinkle with smoked paprika.
  10. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until butternut squash is cooked.
  11. Enjoy serve with veggie sausages. Or like in photo fresh tomatoes.

TIME OF NIGHT

Tonight I went to a performance gig thing. To do with mental health awareness. I loved it. Everytime I go to something like this I walk away inspired here’s tonight’s creation.

That time of night

That time of night

That time of night

You smell booze, chips and vomit in the air.

The air is warm, the sky is dark, with a mist of illusion of no repercussions or cares.

That time of night where young meets old and old realises what young once meant.

That time where you are sat at the bus stop at ten something realising that you aren’t those youth where our mind and heart gathered at a bottle with the label resentment.

I know I’m only at that ripe old age of twenty six, but I’m here now sat at a bus stop watching the faces of drowned resentment . Some with laughter, some puking up regrets and some crying tears of truth.

That time of night

That time of night

That time of night

Where walking just outside brought the truth to the edge.

That drink you drunk just to forget the decisions of your life instead of walking off a ledge.

Lost hands violating in wrong places

Disregarded morals, boundaries with unknown faces.

That time of life
That time of life
That time of life

Where life is spinning you like a drunken mess and you have no idea how you’ll make it out alive.

When that time of night either makes you or breaks you. I’m not saying I’ll never have a drunken night out again or I’ll never regret it. I’m pretty sure of the latter. our hearts and minds need to lean on love and truth in a bottle and not look at the bottle of resentment as something you deprive

That time of night
That time of night
That time of night

Where you look at your life with a smile and laugh . tears of joy and tears of pain and memories of that time of life.And now you drink your nourishment of lessons.

That you look at people with sympathy as memories flash through your eyes like paparazzi. that time of night when I realise I’m ready for my bed, my snuggle buddy. My new time of life. my new creation.

Words

Language and how we speak to eachother is engrained in us. I’ve not been writing as much lately. Sometimes ideas come and then kinda float off. But I wrote this and didn’t want to stop or it would’ve floated right off too. With all the news and things going on I personally think it’s a good time we all found our voices.

(Pic of person I have permission to use )

Can you see her tongue ?
It’s scarred with all the bite marks of
all the unsaid thoughts and remarks.

Her tongue held prisoner between the sharp bite of reality.
Would those words be wishes, crude jokes, optimistic thoughts or harsh comments that are akin to a murderer slitting throats on a killing spree?

If those teeth set the tongue free would the words fly out like butterflies or as fast as a cheetah on grassy dry plains? Where the words slip out so fast you gasp, or would the words be like a grass snake smooth and mysterious slithering up the roots of the knowledge tree?

The scarred tongue full of memories . Full of the times she was catcalled where all she could think of were words like fuck off.

Or the memory of when her lover said he no longer loved her. Her dignity bit into her tongue as hard as an earthquake till she could run off.

Her tongue followed a series of silky moral manners. Of never complaining even when it caused her such misery.

Tongues bitten hers and ours of the 58 families from Palestine. Where the bites and tears can’t be measure indefinitely .

The bites bring up history in the making again where humans are reduced to nothing by world leaders. As though they are no more than the gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe an annoying monstrosity.

Bites are big bites are small as an anomaly

Like the time her meal was completely inedible. She bit her tongue and paid she still thinks of that restaurant bitterly.

Or of how her close friend keeps bailing or postponing all the time. When what she needs is an ear or a shoulder to cry on just so she can tell someone how bad her depression is right now.

Society tells people that speaking up or defending yourself is rude, crude, brash, and harsh. As though showing distaste is a hassle that no one can have time for or to allow.

As an American I get told I’m brash. since living in the UK it’s common knowledge that the British love to moan, but not about the important things like hardships of immigrants, low paying jobs, and just shitty treatment.

Listen and bite your tongue this poem isn’t about hating a country. Both are equally just as bad. I think our tongues and teeth need to unclench societies agreement

She needs to let that tongue free. No more bite marks. No more hidden fillings of despair, no more secret lovers. Let the words slide out of her mouth like the water from a faucet warm and relaxing like a bit bath where you can sink right in.

Trigger

Hiya everyone I’m still here I won’t give up on my blog. Life just seems to get so busy sometimes and this poem is sort of about that and my anxiety of life where intrusive thoughts invade.

trigger

pull the trigger
feel the ache in my chest

the bullet unlike any other bullet a bullet that lets me live but with an ache that ceases to rest

as it explodes it leaks it’s toxins in my mind and poisons it

who knew love and having fun could be the gun. but when the mind likes to play like the god loki how can we resist.

Smell

Life of a busy mom. Promise I am still writing and cooking. Life just takes over sometimes. It’s actually 2am and I’m writing this as I can’t sleep.

Smell

Cigarettes and stale coffee is my memory of you mom.

Smell is such a significant timekeeper of our life memories sitcoms.

See I’m American and death is done differently. Open casket is the way they go, the smell of embalming fluid just sticks to you like glue.

False sense of flower meadows assaults your nose. Aswell as a bible with stale pages listening to the preacher of life and death from a pew.

Smell of the leather seats on the first school bus I ever rode.

The sea on our family trips to the beach. Where we ate britts donuts til we nearly explode.

Love spell the perfume of my youth that my best friend covered us both in.

The wafts of smoke and alcohol and bad decisions. Which make train wrecks look like a lottery win.

The chippy down the street, comfort winds through your nose and takes your hunger hostage.

That moment you are sat straight after birth your body is a battlefield, your body has produced an angel, but all around through the blood you smell birth that smell will stick with you forever of all the wastage.

That new baby the smell of life itself, the innocence and pureness is intoxicating.

The love of your life. The smell every hug, every night after the smell that sends you back with memories.

Smell is with you through life and death, hope and joy. sometimes our mind and nose is the only treasury .

Potato leek bake

Let’s just start with the fact I love potatoes. I could eat potatoes with every meal and be completely content. So I made this for us. It’s easy cheap and delicious . Both the girls ate it all and I’m having leftovers tonight.

  • 4 large potatoes peeled and cut up
  • 4 leeks
  • 2 tbsp of vegan butter
  • 1/2 cup of nutrional yeast
  • 1 tbsp of mustard
  • Salt and pepper
  • 2 slices of toast
  • 1 tbsp of garlic powder
  • Olive oil
  1. Sautee leeks til cooked completely
  2. Cook potatoes til soft. Mash them. With butter, nutrional yeast, mustard, salt and pepper. Stir in cooked leeks.
  3. Place in oiled baking pan.
  4. Place toast in food processor. Create breadcrumbs.
  5. Add garlic powder, and herbs.
  6. Add just enough olive oil for them to be moist.
  7. Place ontop of potatoes evenly .

8. Bake on medium temperature for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

I served it with baked beans. It was delicious I can’t wait to have it later. Hope you enjoy it as much as we have.

Chocolate caramel cake

A few days ago was my birthday. And since becoming an adult and not being in the same country as my granny I pretty much have to make my own cake if I want one. This isn’t a pity post haha. I make damn good cakes . This one was gone so quickly I actually only got one slice . I’m one of those bakers that adds and changes things from recipes so here we go 🙂

Cake:

  • 300ml of soya milk
  • 1 tbsp of vinegar
  • 150 grams of vegan butter
  • 3 tbsp of golden syrup (any syrup will work)
  • 1 tbsp of instant coffee
  • 2 tsps of cinnamon
  • 1 tbsp of vanilla
  • 275 grams of flour
  • 3 tsp of baking powder
  • 175 grams of sugar
  • 1/2 cup of cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp of bicarbonate of soda(baking soda)
  • 1 decent bar of dark chocolate grated

Caramel sauce:

  • 1.5 cups of brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup of vegan butter
  • 1/4 cup of soya milk
  • 1 tsp of cinnamon
  • 1 tsp of vanilla
  • 3 tbsp of cornflour (corn starch)

Butter cream:

  • 75 grams of vegan butter
  • 200 grams of icing sugar (powdered sugar)
  • 4 tbsp of cocoa powder
  • 1 tsp of vanilla
  • 2 tbsp of soya milk
  • Cocoa powder for dusting
  1. Let’s start with caramel sauce. Combine all ingredients except cornflour for caramel sauce in a pan. Cook on low heat til sugar is melted. Simmer on low heat til thickened. Now dissolve cornflour with a bit of water. Add to caramel sauce and cook til thickened. Set aside and let co completely

2. On to the cake. Preheat the oven to 180 c/ 350 f/ gas mark 4. Grease your pans

3. Combine milk and vinegar. Set aside.

4. In a sauce pan melt butter and syrup together over low heat. Once melted set aside to cool for a few minutes.

5. Sieve flour, baking powder, bicarb, and cocoa powder into a bowl.

6. Add cinnamon, coffee granules and vanilla to bowl.

7. Now combine the milk and butter mixture to dry ingredients. Mix til smooth.

8. Stir in grated chocolate bar.

9. Divide between two pans. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes. Or until skewer inserted and comes out clean.

10. Cool cakes completely and sauce . Once cool. Put caramel sauce in between.

11. Buttercream time. Beat butter til smooth. Add icing sugar and cocoa powder, milk and vanilla. Mix til a good consistency. Frost top of cake. Dust top of cake with cocoa powder.

12. ENJOY :).

Here’s where I got the recipe from >>>> https://veggiedesserts.co.uk/best-vegan-chocolate-cake/

But I changed so much and made my own caramel sauce too

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